My Family As A Sitcom

So my Auntie Robin (my parents good friend, our babysitter, and one of our very favorite people) came to visit a couple of weeks ago. We all came over for family dinner (once a month 2nd Sunday tradition) and started just talking about stuff since we had seen her. Told some fun jokes, talked about funny stuff we remember from childhood. She looked at us and just started laughing. She said "you can't make stuff like this up! This is like some TV family show". This comment came after several remarks about my father's finger. For anyone who doesn't know my father these make interesting tales. Due to an accident (he cut his hand with a skill saw) his finger was amputated just before my 16th birthday. He kept it in a jar in the freezer for a while. At first he would ask us to go scratch it for him. Um...no. Love ya, but no. On my first date he took it out of the freezer to show it to the guy -- "This is what happened to the last guy who brought her home late." You know that AT&T commercial where the dad is going around knocking on cars and he tells the camera - "Sorry dear - now come Monday you are going to be the girl with the crazy father no one wants to date"? Yes- that was me. Except I was already weird so having a crazy father didn't much surprise anybody.

Then he took it to the Natural History Museum and they freeze dried it for him. So he put it on a necklace with all of his teeth on the string. Yes, his teeth. (yes he wears dentures and does not put the necklace in his mouth. I know you didn't ask but it had to have crossed your mind.) We have some great pics of the kids picking their noses it I will have to find. We have a lot of moments like this. Kind of like -- Mom where is the ice cream? Mom says, in the downstairs freezer under the badger." Now to us this makes perfect sense but to others -- maybe not so much. So I started thinking about my family, and thought -- she's right! We are a pretty strange bunch. We talk in movie quotes, dad tans his own leather, he has a tipi, we have body parts on strings, can jerry rig anything! Sometime we spontaneously burst into song and everyone knows all the words. We toss around phrases like - "you should have seen his face as we snuck around the deer at the bottom of the stairs" and have the deer not actually be part of the punchline. And you know, that makes me feel pretty cool.

(This is all of us with our boo-boos we got in one month. Trying to be cute with the hear no evil see no evil thing. I think we were actually saying see no ouchies, hear no ouchies etc etc. The ER just started reserving us a bed)

For my science project in 6th grade I decided to do a report on how to brain tan leather.(And for those who don't know - it is work!! Lots of time consuming work! How did those women do it with all those buffalo??) I thought it was a pretty cool one and I could gurantee no one else would be doing it (unlike the baking soda volcano). So we had the hide, stretched it out and boiled the brain. As a side note - deer brain smells like turkey when you boil it. It does NOT taste like turkey though. Just FYI. I took it to school explaining the whole process and everything you have to do after you brain it and brought samples of the one we did. I also brought a new hide with a boiled brain so people could smear some on if they wanted. What was funny was how many girls did it while the guys looked like they would pass out. I got an A. And a note never to do anything like that again. But I got an A.
( Yes the snake is real. Dead and stuffed with wires but real.)

And the time we had a new neighboor move in next door. A nice sweet little old lady. A day after she gets settled she wanders into her back yard. We just so happen to have the tipi up with our horse tail scalp hanging off the top, a couple skins stretched out and were boiling some buffalo skulls to get all the tissue off and bleach them white. Now to us that was normal. She almost had a heart attack -- what devil worshipping monsters had she moved next to???

Lots of fun moments. The kids playing dad's teeth. A picture of everyone squeezing in a four seater out house. (Because who doesn't want someone next to them in the outhouse??) Me catching a fish with my feet. My dad with a fish hook in his nose trying to catch the damn fish that jumped off the hook that is now in his nose. My cousin Kristy and I getting stuck climbing up Pig Pen, then getting bored of waiting for someone to rescue us so we found a way to climb down. Christmas time with all 80+ of us Sqeezing into my Uncle Clem's house so we can listen to my totally awesome Papa talk. (and of course presents. Some normal, some not so much. Who doesn't want their own fish pillow made with personlized fabric huh? Everyone needs those googly eyes staring at them on their beds.)

Ahhhh family. The more other family's I know the more grateful I am for mine. No offense to my friends or in-laws, they are all good people. But I wouldn't trade my crazy fam for anything in the world. Love ya guys!!

Um Really? He He

Ok so I saw this quiz on my cousin Angelic's page and said why not? Except I am not sure what to say. I really did think he was hot and kinda still do. But do I admit to that???

Your 80s Hunk Is

John Stamos

Who's Your 80s Hunk?

Football !

So it's football time. Yay. No really though, I have never been more interested. My husband calls me a Giants fan now although I don't consider myself that dedicated. (in his family fan leans more towards fan-atic) I watch with him because I could read a book snuggled with him on the couch while he cheered and yelled. Last year I actually started watching though. I wanted to understand what was so fascinating. That meant I had to learn the rules. I stopped him from teaching me the actual plays because I just don't want to care that much. But the rules were fine, then I could know why he was cheering or yelling. So I started rooting for the Giants one week they were playing the Cowboys. Mostly because my husband hates the Cowboys, not because I particularly liked them Then I just kinda stayed rooting for them. I'm not sure why. Maybe because they seemed like an underdog. Maybe because Eli was Peyton's little brother and all little brothers should get a chance to shine. Anyway - just kept rooting for them, and hey, they won. That was fun. So yay for football, something we can watch together.


But now, I have signed up both my sons to play football. This is something I struggled against for a very very long time. I thought it was too rough, would teach them to be mean jerks, make them more violent, coaches would be mean, I hate cocky jocks etc. etc. Then I realized that I have seen way too many football movies, and I don't live in Texas so I am probably ok. Josh who is now finally 8 and can play sports in leagues is loving it. I think it's pretty cute to see these kids in pads running around, practicing catching and stuff. They are just starting and learning and it looks fun. I don't know what will happen when they actually have to play a game and can't just randomly tackle people but it should be amusing.


Curtis however is definitely a teen. The 13th birthday just made it official. Anything that takes effort and isn't electronic just isn't fun. And let's face it -- football is hard! He has 2 hours of practice 6 days a week,(which since I go to all of these have to ask myself -- what was I thinking??) running, learning etc. He is the only one on his team who has never played before so he is doing double catch up. But you know, apart from some grumbling in the beginning about how I was forcing him against his will, it has been amazing to watch. He hurt his ankle the second week so we had to ice and soak it all week after practice but he just kept going out there and doing it. He never asked to quit. He told me he had to prove to my us and himself he could do it. And he is.In 3 weeks he is 10 times better than he was. He goes out and always listens to his coach (who is marvelous and teaches exactly the way Curtis learns)and does what he is asked, changes what he is told to change, and doesn't quit. Is this my kid??? Well yes as soon as we get home the teenager comes back. No - actually he is better at doing what I ask him to do and doesn't argue as much. Holy cow. This is great! If this does nothing else but teach him self-confidence then it is worth all the ungodly amount of money we have put into this. So then I listed all the good things this could teach him - play as a team, work together, listen to your leaders/teachers/parents, follow directions, not to mention the benefits of being physically fit, and that life outside of video games is good too.


So now I am an official fan of football. Even if it means my schedule is now full from now until November.

Book Clubs -- Can I take one and beat you with it???

I don't know about anyone else but I love books. (I think this is not a surprise to anyone who knows me.) Mostly I love sci-fi/fantasy (Orson Soctt Card and Anne Mccaffery are my two favorite) but I am certainly not limited to it. I generally don't read romance because I consider it porn for women. There are a few notable exceptions though such as; Victoria Holt, Madeleine Brent, Dorothy Keddington and I'm sure a few I cant remember and will kick myself for later. Also, Kathleen Woodiwiss who is pretty explicit sometimes but the stories themselves are so fantastic that those spots are not distracting, and certainly not the basis for the book.

So, of course I found an interest in book clubs. I had no idea that it would be so difficult to find one I liked. And that the trick is really finding one with people that you like, and that those people like the books that you like. There is one that I go to now where I think most of the people are nice. I do. But the last time I went I wanted to strangle them. I have no idea how people can live in such a narrow world sometimes.

I admit -- I found it through church so maybe that should have prepared me, but still. Can you seriously read nothing but self-help books and scriptures? Not that I am knocking self-help books. I have a mind/body bridging one at home that is really helping me sleep. However, let me relate my last experience. I went to the first meeting in December where we all got to pick a book. Mine was April's. For January we read a book called The History Of Love by Nicole Krauss. Its just a general fiction book and not what I would normally pick up. But I loved it!! I thought, cool, this might work out great. Then I go to the meeting, and everybody hates it. For almost the same reasons I love it. So....crap. But sometimes I just like to argue. So I go back. I missed February and March for illness reasons but man I was excited for April!

I picked Enchantment by Orson Scott Card. Yes it's fantasy, but its not complicated and really easy to read. It is the story of Sleeping Beauty, starting with the kiss. Also, because it's Orson, it has a twist. He (Ivan-the hero) is from 1970ish (it doesn't say but that's the impression you get) and she(Katerina-the sleeping princess) is from 900 something. But of course the place in the woods she is trapped in sleep until kissed is magical and not really a part of time so of course that kind of thing can happen. Anyway, I love it. It's one of my favorites. I was so excited to talk about it. So I go to the meeting and guess what? They changed the book to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. What???? Then they talked all about how its so spiritual and just like God. You pray, and he helps you. What?? I couldn't help it. I told them what I thought. I said I thought that it was full of crap and it was harmful by giving people a false sense of entitlement and made everyone lazy. After all, you dont have to plan anything do anything, work for anything etc.. you just have to want it and its yours. I was always taught that slothfulness was a sin and God helped those who helped themselves kind of thing. They didn't like that. So I talked about my book anyway.
One other person read it too and said how upset they were with it. After all Orson is LDS and there were a couple swear words and they were naked. I said what?? First off, Orson is LDS and an author. That does not automatically make him an LDS author. He doesn't write just church books. (He has a couple about bible characters but thats all compared to the very great many sci-fi/fantasy ones where bad guys actually do and say bad things. wow- what a concept) The swearing were little words and the nakedness was nothing sexual. When you shifted through time - your clothes didn't get to go too. Like on the Terminator right? Then they just looked at me a little offended and said how could you watch something like the Terminator? That's it. I'm done. Ok, so LDS or not there are far far too many great and wonderful books, people,music, and movies out there that I would be sorry to miss out on and feel as I was cheating myself by missing just because they are not G rated and sung in Primary!

Dreams

Ok so this picture has nothing to do with I am talking about but that's all right because it's cool. Well maybe it does. You know those dreams where you are being chased and you just can't get away? Either because your legs don't work, all the sudden you feel like you are running in sand or water or something? Well I think this picture is kinda like that. How fast can you paddle?

Well I have discovered a couple of things. First: not everyone dreams like me. Second: I have really really strange dreams. I have really vivid colorful dreams. Sometimes they fade in an hour or so, sometimes they stay with me for a couple of days. I have one dream I had in 8th grade that I can still remember like I just had it. It's one of those really truly strange dreams. The nazi's were invading and they had these house size lunchboxes that would open and killer Hi-C fruit drink boxes would come out and kill people. But the rebels (including me of course) had these robots that would turn into pizza's so we could deliver them the nazi's then they would turn back into robots and kill them. We also had these bombs that when you shot them into the air they would come down screaming neener neener neener.
You see what I mean? There are lots of times, most times I think where I am not even in my dreams, I'm just watching like its a tv show and sometimes I'm one of the charachters. Or I have dreams that I have had before, and while I'm dreaming I know that I have had this one before and think "oh man - a rerun" but I still can't change them. Or new dreams where you know you are dreaming so you think that you should be able to do cool stuff since its a dream like fly, or will your pants back on after you realize you went to school naked. But its a dream so you should be able to make your clothes come back or at least make it so that no one notices. But no - you still can't. Knowing it's a dream or not. That really bites.
Then you have the roller coaster dreams -- not where you are on one but where everything changes every 30 seconds. Or seems to anyway. For example last night I was on an island but the sun started to explode so we rode over the lava in a pirate ship but it got stuck on the lawn of my parents house where we were filming a movie (and I was no longer me) in the desert etc etc. I know what you are thinking but no I am not crazy just strange.
So it was really interesting to learn that lots of people don't remember ever having dreams. Ever. Or just a couple here and there. Lots of people dream in black and white. Some people remember them for a while, some forget them before they are all the way awake. They know they dreamed but can't catch it anymore after the alarm goes off. Huh. Interesting. So am I just really weird then? I don't know. But if so, thats ok.