Fiddle Faddle

Ha! You thought I was going to talk about the treat!Well I'm not. Actually I have never had it so I can't tell you anything about it - except it's fun to say. Kind of like one of my favorite Dr. Who quotes that says "People assume that time is a strict progression from cause to effect but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it's a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff." Ha! Now that's fun to say. :) Wibbly wobbly timey wimey gets stuck in my head all day sometimes.

I had a great weekend. I went to a pot luck for the FRG and surprisingly we had a bunch of people come! Normally when I plan things I just dont seem to get a lot of response so this was very nice. We had good food, and a lot of laughs. It was supposed to go from 1-4 but we ended staying until about 8:30. It was great fun. I made chhesy potatoes (funeral potatoes) and everyone loved them. Normally at home you would bring a pan and people would be like "great - thats our fourth pan" but not here. Here no one has ever had them before so I got to be there person with the cool new food. Score one for me!

Sunday I went to church and then went to Savannah with my friend Dawn. We found a Torrid in the mall there and that was great fun. I love that store. I know I am not a size 10 - but I still want cute clothes and this store is perfect for that. My husband had been begging me to buy a new pair of jeans for a while now. He thinks once I have to patch them that they aren't any good anymore. I beg to differ - but I decided to get some new ones for when he gets home. I can't wait for that!

I got to talk to my husband twice on Sunday! Once in the morning and once before I went to bed - so that was super cool. I also was able to Skype with my kids. They went to Scout Camp with my dad and apparently had a fabulous time. This is always good news - it IS possible to have fun while not pugged into something electronic! Ha! I couldn't beleive the pictures my dad sent me. They are getting so big! Who told them they could grow up?

I gave the gogs a much needed haircut. Poor max was getting so fuzzy he had this lion mane thing going on and I couldn't put his collar on anymore so I took the buzzers and tamed him. I didn't shave them - that would be mean, but I definitley could have made a sweater with everything that came off them. Hopefully that will help out with this crazy heat.

Then I decided I was going to sell candles and stuff. They are a pretty cool company that does everything boi-degradable, eco-friendly stuff. Candles, soaps, household cleaners, lotions, warmers and cubes, and OAM stuff that it kind of like the scent cones and air fresheners but better. :) I promise not use this to sell it though. Just mentioning it. We will see how it goes. But I will give the adress to my site - just this once. :) www.samanthas.foreveryhome.net

Other than that - just hanging out and being groovy as my husband likes to say. :)

Scattered.....

Today I am scattered. Not frazzeled - I feel pretty good actually, just scattered. I brought speakers to work and I am listening to my newly discovered pandora staions. It could become a serious love thing I think. So I am bouncing around my seat and waving my flower pens in the air orchestrating the music while the salesman look at me strangely but walk past without asking.

I wrote Happy Birthday to my father on his facebook page but he is at scout camp so he wont see it. I wonder if I can call him up there - or if I should wait until he gets home so as not to distract him. I am still not done making his father's day/birthday present even though I started a month ago. I just keep letting myself get distracted.

It has been nice and quiet in my house with my children gone and I am enjoying my time alone. Except....you know those times you are watching something, or reading something and you just want to talk to someone about it? Or you need to talk about your day? Or even when you just did something stupid and want to tell someone so you can both laugh about it? All these little simple things you don't even think about and totally take for granted when you have someone home to tell it to. I have called my sister a million times in the last week. *Sigh. I miss my husband.

Celibacy does strange things to your mind. Ha ha I know that sounds funny and it is really. It's only been 3 1/2 months but when you have someone with you all the time and now you can't even hold their hand or even see their face very often - its hard. Not hard as in "I couldn't help myself I had to go find someone else to fulfill me" kind of BS (and that is major BS in my opinion) just hard as in "I just wish I could at least look at his smile because I miss him so much it hurts" and "I miss feeling him sleep next to me and listening to him breathe" and "I would kill to have him hold me right now". Ok maybe thats all more loneliness but still - I have started to crave physical contact. Nothing dirty - just....like a hug you know? I cuddle with my blankets. My dogs know it because they have to always sit on my lap or next to my legs. Its both cute and annoying.

I have started looking up all kinds of random trivia. My sister unfortunately gets to hear most of it for when I feel I simply must share it. :) Love ya Genn. Wikipedia and Google are my friends.

I cleaned my house day before yesterday. It's still clean!

My tomato plants did not survive - but my pepper plants are doing awesome.

My kids are having a fabulous time visiting family and are currently camping instead of playing video games. This is a fabulous thing. All the stuff I said I would get done while they were gone I haven't done yet. Ah well, I have three more weeks. And I admit I miss them too and will be happy to see them when they come home.

I am trying not to count down the days until I get to see my husband for r&r since I was told it was bad luck and makes it go by slower - but I can't help it. I know the day he gives me is just an -ish, since there are always unexpected delays or bumps or whatever but still.....I cant help it.

I love my husband. I love my children. I love my parents and my siblings and - well all my super cool family. They are all totally awesome. I am a damn lucky woman. *sigh now if I could just manage to get us all together and away from these evil, awful, nasty biting bugs. :)

To my Dad...

I have one of the best dad's in the world. I know a lot of us say that but I mean it. He is the best dad that I could have had - which I am sure is why he got stuck with me. God knew I needed him. He is silly and strange and not afraid to look like an idiot while playing with his kids and his grandkids. He is also a rock that I always knew I could hang on to and count on. Even when I ignored that - he still offered it. My dad has been there for me through laughter and tears. He always wanted me to be happy and strong - and loved me enough to help me when I confused happy with fun - no matter how mad I got. There are many many days that I wished I had listened. I know he probably doesn't read this so I will have to print it and mail it to him :) but I needed to say it anyway. I love you dad. I am sorry for all the tears and the frustration and the really awful things I said and did. And I am so grateful you never gave up on me even when I am sure I deserved to be smothered. Thank you dad. I love you.

P.S. I was reading in Mosiah last night and King Benjamin was talking. I have said before that he speaks with your voice and this particular one just brought it home. He was talking about how we should believe in the Lord and believe in repentance, believe in the scriptures and that (and here is the part that really sticks to me as you) *if ye believe these things see that ye do them. I think that says it all really. :) I love you dad.

Truth in Fiction

I love to read. It is one of my favorite pastimes. With the job I currently have I have been able to do more of it. As the receptionist - I sit at my desk for 9 hours and when it gets slow, I read. It's a fabulous thing - even if I do have a small headache almost all the time from the eyestrain. Now that my children are away I have a lot more time to read at home - even though I haven't been. For some reason it has become craft month and my living room may never be the same. :)

However - I must say that reading can be very educational. I'm not talking about textbooks or history books or biographies (even though those are all great books). I am talking about fiction. My particular genre that I most enjoy is science fiction and fantasy. There is so much that can be done and said in them - lessons taught, morals learned etc. Some are more obvious like C. S. Lewis, some I dont think even tried to be educational but are anyway. Think of the myriad things you learned from Dr. Seuss, and Ray Bradbury, and Orson Wells. Well I did anyway.

I think of the political and moral lessons I learned in The Sword of Truth series, the strategic and tragic lessons from the Ender series, and the wonder and joy of it I still get when I vist the world of Pern. Stories are meant to speak to us - and they speak to us differently I think. Sometimes I know that the things that speak to me - resonate and speak truth to me - are things that really are just part of the story and not necessarily meant that way. Certain phrases I want to highlight and bookmark the way I do my scriptures and say yes, see that is it! that is what I was trying to say but couldn't find the words - that is what I was feeling but couldn't express. Other times I read something and think to myself - wow, I never thought of it like that before and a whole new way of thinking opens up to me, a whole new world of believing is suddenly there to poke and prod at and see how it might fit.

Then there are the simple things - bits of trivia I wouldn't have bothered with - like did you know Wednesday is Odin's day? If you go back enough that is one of the roots of it. Little did I know that hump day belongs to the All-Father. He must cringe at the thought :) Or how reading a book in a very similiar but definitely alternate universe can make me spend as much time on wikipedia looking up things like the Crimean War and Duke Wellington as I do reading the book - trying to find out how much was real and how much changed for the story and in doing so I learn more history than I did in school.

Every time I read something new I have to be open to new thoughts, new worlds, new lives, new hopes and dreams. And every time I do - I learn something - about the book, about the world, or just about myself. I believe this is a good thing. We always have to be open to new ideas and ways of being or else we get stuck in a rut and might miss something amazing - even if it only affects us.

And maybe three months without my husband has made me a bit strange and far too much time to ponder other things to try and avoid missing him. :)

Peace and Quiet....ish

I put my kids on a plane last week. Its been 5 days that they have been gone now. The three days I was at work the routine wasn't all that different. I came home - did some laundry and made dinner and went to bed. It was quieter to be sure. No one argued about whether they had to go to bed or take a shower, no one whined about waht I made for dinner. No one helped me bring the groceries in the house or helped me wash the dishes either so that part sucked. It seems like the trade off is no backtalking but no slave labor either. Hmmmmmmm.

The weekend though....thats where I really felt it. I slept in on Saturday. All the way until 10:00am!! No one bothered me - no loud tv, no sneaking in my room to ask if they can have the chips for breakfast, no one called me or texted me, no one rang the doorbell and even the dogs were quiet! It was heaven! Ahhh blissful sleep where you actually wake up refreshed - I cant remember the last time that happened. It felt so good I decided to continue the trend and not leave the house. It was a jama day! I stayed off the computer and watched a Grey's Anatomy marathon and quilted the day away! Still no one called or texted or came over. It was just me.....and the massive mess I was making. :) It was a fabulous day.

I was planning on going to church on Sunday but I woke up feeling like death. I knew it! I had to pay for my awesome Saturday! It really felt like the worlds worst hangover. Nausea, pounding head that was very unhappy if I moved fast, or sounds were too loud, but I didn't drink! Then I realized that was the problem. During my quilting spree of a day I didn't eat anything or even have more than a small glass of milk. Now I was feeling it. Leftover chicken and rice soup with a huge mug of lemongrass/chamomile tea and a nap on the couch seemed to fix me right up. So what did I do with the rest of my day? Clean? Make lunches for the week? Nope. I finished my quilting! I made two baby blankets and I they were pretty cute too. Yes, I am feeling slightly smug. I made up my own patterns and they actually worked (which believe me is not the usual) and turned out nicely. They are just small receiving blankets but still. And the best part is - still no one called or came over. It was just me and the dogs.

*sigh .....and as nice as that was - I sure wish my husband had called me. It's been a week now but I know they go out on a lot of missions and they dont have phone services at a lot of places they go to but still....He wasn't there to make dirty jokes, or take a nap on the couch and be in my way while watching Nascar. He wasn't there to rile up the dogs or blast his stupid music while making a mess in the kitchen cooking me lunch. He wasn't there to snuggle up with and talk to me. He wasn't coming in and out of the house while working on his truck and swearing about how crappy it is and he is never working on it again. Sometimes........it's too quiet. So I guess while peace and quiet is nice..it's only nice if it's quiet..ish.